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02 Mar
Written by  Mike Davies

The Bachelor: Episode 9 Recap

So the remaining three girls head off to Switzerland where Ben has the same old conversation with each girl --- just in a different country.

So the remaining three girls head off to Switzerland where Ben has the same old conversation with each girl --- just in a different country.

Switzerland is beautiful and Ben is ugly. The first date went to Nicki and Ben said she was the "dark rose." The two fly over Switzerland in a helicopter and it truly is beautiful. Ben used the line again, "You really are opening up." This guy has said this to every single girl about eight times. Shows that his brain is the size of a Milk Dud.

I love how Ben told Nicki her dad reminds him of his dad. And then he sends her home. How do you tell a girl that her father reminds you of your dad and then she's the next girl you send home?

Furthermore, it does not look good for you to get sent home at the next rose ceremony after you sleep in the same room together. Ben sent Nicki home because he had "doubts." Well, I doubt that Ben is smarter than a trout.

The other two dates he had with Lindzi and Courtney were dates we've seen before. Lindzi had to overcome her fear of heights and Courtney had to talk in her baby voice and recite her lines. All three dates ended with the girls staying in the fantasy suite with Ben playing a game of Twister.

Kacie B chases the crew to Switzerland so she can get closure with Ben. A simple phone call would have been fine. I don't blame her for wanting closure, but I don't think it was worth a nine-hour flight for this fool.

It's almost like he didn't know what to say to Kacie. Once Ben told her he didn't want her back, she again told Ben that Courtney is bad news. Which is about the 12th time he's been told this. It's obvious who is going to win this: Courtney.

I don't care what Ben does now, since I think Kacie B was the most down-to-earth, lovely woman. He dumped her because of her parents’ opinions, I think. I hope she finds what she deserves, which is MUCH better than "I Don't take a Shower Ben."

Final Two: Lindzi and Courtney

Lindzi is a better person for Ben, but deserves better. Courtney hasn't looked Ben in the eye for more than a span of two seconds. Ben keeps saying he's confused and doesn't know what to think of Courtney. You could propose in two weeks, dummy, and you’re questioning her???

The sneak peek of Emily Maynard reminded me of how much I love her. She met up with ex-Bachelorettes Ali and Ashley. They gave her some advice and then the three went to see Titanic 3-D and wore dresses like they were headed to a club.

This needs to be mentioned. Ashley said Jack and Rose had the "perfect relationship" and that’s what everyone needs. OK, listen up, Ashley: Jack and Rose were on a boat for a week, one was engaged and sleeping behind her fiance’s back and then Jack drowned. That relationship sunk, just like every other relationship on this show. But who cares? I still watch it and can't wait for "Women Tell All."

A few quick thoughts:

I don't know why they have an invitation to the overnight fantasy suite. I don't think anyone has ever turned down that invite. If someone ever has or does, they will probably be sent home, at least with Ben.

I find it hysterical once the couple gets into the suite, they don't want to sit down and talk, or watch TV. They strip down and head straight for the jacuzzi to swap spit.

Ben looks like a chimp and Courtney looks like Russell Brand. It's not fair to the other girls that Courtney got to see him naked twice, in Puerto Rico and Switzerland.

What was he wearing during the rose ceremony? Plaid shirt, plaid tie! Could they not afford to send costume designers with them to Switzerland?

Sometimes I even think he looks like Marcel, Ross' monkey from “Friends.” Don't they supply shampoo and a comb for this dude? The only people who have a haircut like that are children aged 3-12. That's because their moms cut it.

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